We are judged based on intelligence somewhat, also on looks and wealth or status. But these are superficial impressions that gain or fall depending on completely different criteria. We are all evaluated and judged in social and work settings all the time and usually in a brief instant. We are not judged on education. We are not judged on grades. We are not judged on style. At least not in a lasting way.
We are judged on skills, pretty much solely. People prefer the company of those who are physically handy and socially adept. Competence counts. In fact, people with high IQ or lots of schooling but low skill levels can be judged quite negatively. Ditto for looks and money.
- Can you change a flat tire or swap out a dead car battery?
- Can you pick up a guitar and entertain a room?
- Are you handy at crafts?
Even more important are the social skills, particularly...
- Are you an excellent listener?
- Can you instantly make people at ease in your presence?
- Can you control the atmosphere in a room, making it light or serious as appropriate?
- Do you have moral courage? Are you willing to say and do the necessary in any circumstance rather than shrink back?
Other social skills are important...
- Can you speak from the heart?
- Are you free from glib, gratuitous, offensive and non-productive remarks?
- Can you compete when necessary, collaborate when necessary?
The social graces are also important...
- Can you dance? play the piano? sing? tell rousing stories? etc.
There are bonus points for gender cross-over skills. When a woman can...
- Use common tools competently.
- Not shrink in the company of males.
- Roll up her sleeves and do hard physical work when necessary.
Or a man can...
- Comfort an upset child.
- Cook, sew, do laundry.
- Feel at home in the company of women and have them readily accept his presence.
Such cross-over skills indicate androgyny, or high skills across the masculine and feminine range. The highest slots in society are usually home to the androgynous.
Whether it's co-workers, teammates, community, neighbors, your lasting impression will be what do you have to offer that makes us better? Looks, money, smarts... all good, but the true lasting value of each person is what can you be counted on for? That will include all of the contributions you are able to make.
Credits: Charles Tips