The Landmines Standing Between You and Your Goal
Setting goals is the first
step… achieving them is the second step… and it’s at this second step that most
of us stumble. We stumble not because the goal is unachievable, but rather
because of unexpected obstacles and challenges that arise along the journey that
make the goal seem unachievable.
It’s important to
understand that every goal we set naturally comes with a plethora of
landmines that are attached to that goal. These land-mines show up in our
lives as a set of obstacles, challenges and problems that we must surpass in order to get to our
end destination, which is our goal. In fact, unless we
successfully maneuver through these land-mines and overcome them, than we will fail to learn the valuable lessons
that are required to help us achieve — and keep — our goal when we get to that
end destination.
Have you ever heard of multi-million dollar lottery
winners who are far worse off today
than they were before they won the lotto? They lost their money because they
didn’t go through the struggles, obstacles, challenges and problems that
self-made millionaires face, and as a result they weren’t able to hold onto their
goal when it was clearly within their grasp.
Today’s discussion won’t
help you win the lottery, however what it will do is help you to deal with the
obstacles that you will likely face as you progress along your journey towards
the attainment of your objectives.
Types of Obstacles
There are three types of
obstacles that you will likely face along your journey towards your goals.
These include personal obstacles, environmental obstacles and social obstacles.
Each is outlined separately below.
Personal Obstacles
Personal obstacles are
related to our psychology, behaviors and state-of-mind. They can include
limiting habits, debilitating emotions, fears and beliefs. These obstacles
prevent us from moving forward towards the attainment of our goals and
objectives because of the thoughts that we tend to dwell upon every day. These
thoughts naturally prevent us from making effective decisions and undertaking
the actions that will help us create the momentum we need to get to our end
destination.
Here is a list of personal
obstacles that could be preventing you from moving forward in your life:
- Lack of pain
- Lack of discipline
- Lack of knowledge
- Lack of inspiration
- Lack of desire
- Lack of skill
- Fear of change
- Fear of failure
- Feeling unworthy
- Procrastination
- Perfectionism
- Disorganization
- Pessimistic thoughts
- Too many time constraints
- Too much complacency
- Too much blaming of
self and others
- Too many excuses
- Too much complaining
Identify if any of these
obstacles are currently preventing you from getting what you want most out of
life, and choose today to take control of your thought patterns and begin
making better and far more effective decisions.
Social Obstacles
Social obstacles are
related to people who either do no cooperate with you, sabotage you, or are
simply incompetent and unable to fulfill the responsibilities assigned to them.
When it comes to social
obstacles, it’s important to do a little forward planning, to make sure that
you clarify your needs adequately, your knowledge thoroughly and your
instructions carefully — ensuring that that the communication doesn’t break
down at any stage. It also helps to develop good strong bonds and relationships
with the people you rely on most.
You will go out of your
mind if you try to control everyone’s behavior, decision and action. Instead
try to subtly influence people and understand their needs, motives and
desires. Only in this way will you successfully improve your chances of
manoevering through the social obstacles in your life.
Environmental Obstacles
Environmental obstacles are
often unexpected conditions, occurrences and circumstances that you have very
little control over.
Because these events and
circumstances are unexpected, we are often ill-prepared and unable to deal with
them effectively. However, if we do a little research and use some forward
planning we may be able to predict and oftentimes influence these occurrences
by setting into place contingency plans. To do this, begin by following
Murphy’s Law:
Anything that can go wrong,
will go wrong at the worst possible time, all of the time when you least expect
it. So what are you going to do about it?
When you plan for the
future, you gather a better understanding of the possible scenarios and
consequences of your decisions and actions. Planning also gives you insight
into additional resources you may need to help you overcome environmental
obstacles that lie on the journey ahead.
Obstacle Analysis Questions
As a life skills coach, I
often work with clients who are struggling to overcome personal obstacles. They
don’t know what to do, where to begin or how to move forward. In such instances
I will ask them a series of questions that helps them gain new perspectives and
understandings about their circumstances. As a result they begin to unlock
hidden resources they never realized they had.
I have outlined the
specific questions I ask below.
Question the Problem
What are the indications
that this is a problem for you?
How do you know this is
accurate?
Question the Origins of
Problem
How did all this start?
Who or what perpetuates
this problem?
Identify the Details
When did it happen?
How did it happen?
Where did it happen?
Determine the Consequences
What would happen if you
ignored it?
When could it become a
bigger problem?
What could lead to this
specific outcome?
How does this affect you?
How does this affect
others?
How does this affect life?
Could resolving this cause
other problems?
Take Control
Whose behavior do you
control?
What aspects of this
problem can you control?
What aspects of this
problem can’t you control?
How must you respond to
what you can’t control?
Identify the Positives
What is happening that is
good?
What would you like to have
continue to happen?
Gain Perspective
What are your assumptions
about this?
How are your assumptions
contributing to the problem?
What is another perspective
you haven’t considered?
Who has successfully
overcome this?
What can you learn from
this person?
Expand Your Options
What could you do
differently?
Who could assist you?
Where haven’t you looked
for a solution?
How will you know when this
problem has been resolved?
What is your criteria for
success?
Tips for Overcoming Obstacles
When confronted with
obstacles, problems and challenges, it’s easy to become a little overwhelmed,
especially when the circumstances are unfamiliar and seem a little threatening
and urgent. However, no matter what life throws your way, keep in mind that there
are always options available, there are always things you can do, actions you
can take and decisions you can make that will keep moving you forward in the
right direction.
Step Back Emotionally
When unexpected obstacles
suddenly show up, it’s easy to react emotionally to the circumstances. However,
emotional reactions are often not very productive, and more times than not they
don’t alleviate the situation. Instead we must learn to step back from our
emotions and see the situation from an external perspective — through logic and
reason. It’s only once we grasp the circumstances from an intellectual
perspective that we begin to identify the true relevance and significance of
the events that have taken place.
Gain Necessary Resources
and Support
At times we simply do not
have the necessary resources to help us deal with the situation at hand.
In such circumstances we must question what pieces of the puzzle we are
currently missing, and then look for the necessary tools, strategies, knowledge
and the support we need to help us overcome this obstacle successfully.
Acquire Different
Perspective
Sometimes obstacles are
only as real as we make them out to be. In fact at times obstacles are simply
misunderstandings and generalizations that we have made about circumstances. At
other times obstacles are only as real as the assumptions that are clouding our
vision.
To begin shifting your
perspective, start by viewing the situation you find yourself in from another
person’s perspective. Alternatively you can use a plethora of framing and
reframing techniques that will help you shift the way you think about your
circumstances.
Seek Guidance
Often the answers we need
to help us overcome the obstacles in our lives can be found by simply talking
to other people. In fact, other people might have already dealt and
successfully overcome the circumstances you find yourself in. You must
therefore seek out mentors, life coaches or experts to help you find the
answers you need to move you forward towards your goals and objectives.
Breathe, Take Control and
Take Action
When obstacles overwhelm
us, our first automatic response is to freeze. This paralysis may seem
unhelpful at first, however it gives us time to ponder and think strategically
about the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Take these moments to
breathe deeply and ask yourself the following questions:
What is it that I control?
What is it that I don’t
control?
How can I gain control over
these circumstances?
If I cannot gain control,
then how can I influence these circumstances?
If I cannot influence them,
then maybe I am not seeing things clearly. Where must I look for more
information?
By asking and taking action
on these questions you will gain some semblance of control over your
circumstances and can slowly start building momentum moving forward towards the
attainment of your goals.
Adjust Your Priorities
At times we are unable to
overcome certain obstacles in our lives because our priorities are simply out
of order. This is especially relevant when you consider that spending a little
more time concentrating on developing a certain skill or gaining knowledge in a
specific area of your life can have a significant impact on your ability to
overcome difficult circumstances.
Assess Your Obstacles
You will rarely be able to
overcome an obstacle unless you are able to figure out how it originated
and weaseled its way into your life. You must therefore ask yourself:
What went wrong?
What could have caused this?
What must I do now?
List Possible Options
Sometimes obstacles have a
tendency to lock us up mentally in a confined space, thusly limiting our
thinking and perspective of the situation. In such instances we must realize
that solutions can only be found when we open our minds to possibilities and options
that we hadn’t considered before. To do this, simply sit down with a pen and
paper and ask yourself over and over again:
How can I overcome this
obstacle?
What options haven’t I
considered?
The more options you have,
the more opportunity you have to find a suitable answer to the problem you are
facing.
Ask Effective Questions
The above two examples
hopefully help unlock the power of questions and how asking effective questions
can help you gather new and different perspectives about your life and
circumstances. In addition to this, spend time overviewing the obstacle
analysis questions that are listed on the second branch of this IQ Matrix map.
Together they provide a powerful example of how questions can be used to
help shift your perspective.
Experiment in New
Directions
Asking effective questions
will help you gain new insights into the obstacles that are standing in
your way. Use this gathered information to try new things and move in new
directions that you never considered before. It is after all the path less traveled
that will make all the difference in the end.
Accept and Acknowledge
Circumstances
When confronted with an
obstacle, the worst thing we can do is to deny that the problem exists.
When we deny that something
exists we close ourselves off to solutions, answers and opportunities that are
waiting for us to discover. We must therefore accept and acknowledge the
circumstances for what they are from an optimistic, solution orientated yet
very realistic perspective.
Think Critically and
Creatively
Creative and critical
thinking was built upon the foundations of the obstacles and problems that
people have dealt with throughout the course of human history. In fact, without
obstacles and problems there would be no need for creative or critical thought.
You must therefore use these two tools to help you unlock the solutions and
answers you need that will help you overcome the obstacles in your life.
Take Small Steps
By taking small steps you
ensure that you always remain in control and do not get overwhelmed by
circumstances. To do this, simply break down what you need to do to overcome
this obstacle into small manageable chunks, then progressively work on one or
more chunks per day until you successfully reach your outcome.
Make Necessary Sacrifices
At times we find it
difficult to overcome certain obstacles because we are simply unwilling to make
the necessary sacrifices to make the changes in our life that would help us to
successfully overcome the problems we are confronting. Sometimes it’s not what
you do, but rather what you let go of that will have the greatest impact on your life.
Learn from Mistakes
Progress is built upon a
myriad of mistakes that we make on a daily basis. Some are big, some are small,
but one thing is certain, they are all significant with helping us learn the
lessons we need to learn, to help us achieve our goals and objectives.
Take time to learn from
every unsuccessful attempt, from every failed result, and from every
unsatisfactory outcome. The more you learn, the more you will grow and the
better you will be able to deal with the obstacles that lie ahead on your path.
Keep Things Simple
When dealing with
obstacles, simplicity is the key. The more we try and complicate things, the
more likely we are to become overwhelmed with circumstances. You must therefore
keep things as simple and straightforward as possible, because the toughest of
problems are often solved in simple ways.
Cultivate Self Belief and
Confidence
You are unlikely to
overcome an obstacle if you don’t believe that you are capable of overcoming
it. Your doubts will only paralyze you and focus you on problems and not the
solutions you need to get the outcomes you want. You must therefore develop the
necessary confidence and self-belief that will help you to think far more
effectively about the obstacles and problems in your life.
Cultivate Calmness
Calmness provides you with
clarity of mind, which enables you to ask better questions, think more
creatively, critically and effectively about your problems.
When your mind and body is
calm, you naturally tap into a reservoir of internal resources that you
normally wouldn’t have access to if you were to react emotionally to
circumstances.
Cultivate an Active Mindset
An active mindset helps you
to proactively deal with circumstances. It’s a mindset that asks effective
questions; always looks for new answers, opportunities and solutions; is
flexible, adaptable and constantly learns from past mistakes, while moving
forward towards the attainment of its goals and objectives.
Cultivate these
Indispensable Qualities
Those who successfully
overcome obstacles in their lives, consistently cultivate the following
qualities:
- Discipline
- Commitment
- Foresight
- Resilience
- Enthusiasm
- Gratitude
- Optimism
- Curiosity
- Patience
I will break down each of
these qualities — as well as other qualities — within future IQ Matrix maps.
Don’t Dwell on the
Negatives
When you dwell on what you
don’t want, you will get more of that in your life, because we attract what we
focus on. Therefore if you focus on worst case scenarios that will rip your
life apart, then you’re not focusing on solutions, and if you’re not focusing
on solutions then you are unlikely to find the answers you need to help you
overcome your problems.
Don’t Throw Blame on
Your-Self or Others
It’s paramount that you do
not blame yourself or others for the circumstances you find yourself in. Yes,
you can acknowledge that someone was at fault, however it’s often not the
person but rather the systems andprocesses in place that lead to this outcome. Fix these, do
not lay blame, and the obstacles you are facing will be fade away.
Don’t Look for Sympathy
When we look for sympathy
from others, we come from a point of weakness and an inability to control our
fate and destiny. We must instead look to come from a place of personal
empowerment, where we take full responsibility for our life and circumstances.
This of course does not mean that we shouldn’t ask for help or assistance. What
it does mean is that we should focus on always exploring options that will move
us forward towards the attainment of our goals and objectives.
Don’t Quit
Finally, no matter what, do
not quit, because the greatest opportunities are always interlocked with the
most difficult struggles of your life.
Final Thoughts
If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead
anywhere.
Obstacles are just “things”
that are there to teach and strengthen us for the journey that lies ahead. We
must therefore not view them as insurmountable problems that will prevent us
from achieving our goals, but rather as small — and at times large — stepping
stones that are required “modules” we need to pass in order to obtain our Ph.D.
in Goal Achievement. And finally, it’s important to remind ourselves of the
indispensable lesson that many former Lottery winners have found out the hard way, that there is only one
thing worse than being poor, and that is “being rich and then
being poor once again”.
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Credits,
source: IQ Matrix
